The relaunch of a small personal blog that only a few people read may not seem life changing, but for me that’s exactly what this is. I’ve been considering this move for a couple of years now and to finally take all of that contemplation and do something with it is one of the most me-affirming things I’ve done since…well, since launching my old blog.
I launched RunnningNekkid.com in probably the darkest time of my life. I’d just lost my son and was trying to stubbornly exert my existence through writing. I spent something like six years trying to nail down the whole blogging thing, trying linkups and joining groups. I had a few minor hits and made some truly wonderful connections.
One of those minor hits got me invited to attend a blog conference over the summer and I considered having business cards made to pass out to new connections. I wound up not going to the conference but the idea of putting RunningNekkid on a business card kept nagging at me. It didn’t feel as right or as me as it felt when I first started writing. I realized I’d outgrown the name and started thinking of a new site I could register. One I wouldn’t outgrow. Because I am a very slow thinker, it took me like eight months to realize that I would not outgrow my own name. I know, I know. I am, as my mother would say, a banana.
The new blog isn’t a departure from the work I’ve been doing at RunningNekkid. It is a continuation; an expansion. I’m taking all of the learning I did about myself and putting it to (what I hope will be) good use.
I’ve learned that I can’t write every day. Cannot. Between my own cyclical nature and my family’s needs (read: these children are draining my very soul) it is not realistic for me to write daily. I’ve tried and sometimes even do well, but burnout ensues and I wind up feeling depressed and guilty. Then I avoid writing altogether and that is the opposite of helpful. Right now I plan on publishing a new post every Monday. This feels like a realistic goal for me, and being realistic with my abilities and my challenges has required a huge shift in thinking. Or, at least, the beginning of one.
I’ve also learned that I am far more political of a person than I thought I was when I first started blogging. I toyed with some discussions on race and culture and politics in the old space and I always felt…funny about it. Glad to have my viewpoint shared, but awkward about sharing it. I’ve taken some time to really embrace that part of myself, and the research that those interests have inspired. I hope to grow in my ability to share the lens through which I view the world. I hope to always keep expanding my viewpoints while staying rooted to my foundation. Mostly, I want to add my voice to so many important discussions going on lately. Accepting that my voice has merit and a place in these discussions is an ongoing process that blogging can help move along.
My voice has grown and changed in the past few years I’ve been trying to do this whole blogging thing. I’m excited to see how a more strategic approach to my writing will help me grow even further. I dig the new site. I love blogging under my own damn name. I am so, so very happy to be here.
And I am happy that you’re coming along. Mahalo nui loa from the bottom of my heart for reading. I’ll see you on Monday, when I’ll share a story about a salesperson telling my husband that Hawaiians look like leather. Yes, that actually happened. No, it was not awesome, but I think the post it inspired is.